The pursuit of pleasure is the natural response to the signals coming from our body. Natural are the emotions it generates. Natural is the will to feel good about ourselves and others, which leads us to seek pleasure.
Nothing wrong, unnatural or perverse has anything to do with pleasure. Nothing that has to be discredited, discriminated, judged or kept hidden.
But today, speaking about female masturbation still means lowering the voice, selecting carefully the right words to avoid criticism, being afraid of getting misjudged and pretending to not belong to that sick world populated by lonely, horny and sex-addicted people only.
On one side.
On the other side, there’s a whole tribe of sex experts, squirting guru, Kamasutra preachers, man-eaters, ready-to-use members and insatiable vaginas, closets crammed with whips, rubber phalluses and holes surrounded by fine reproductions of female genitalia. Outspoken people with no limits, no inhibitors, no fear of failure.
I do think there’s plenty of people in between, men and women confronting their sexuality in the everyday life, observing their bodies with curiosity, trying to improve the sexual connection with the partner, just wanting to feel good. And a lot of these people are approaching some aspects of the sexuality with shyness, concern or uncertainty because of the social conventions, taboos and similar bullcrap.
Here is the place where I’d like to stay: writing about every natural, interesting and funny thing related to pleasure.
About self-pleasure and sex toys: not about those engineering experiments aimed to mechanically substitute gestures and body parts, but about all the objects designed to increase the stimulation and amplify the sensations, which play a role in the pursuit of pleasure as individual or couple, in a discreet, colourful and ergonomic way. This is why I call them just toys.
About body care and knowledge, and sexuality in general. Not as someone who has something to teach to someone else, but like someone who wants to learn and share in order to start a positive exchange of opinions and information.
Because the pursuit of pleasure is a different path for everyone where there’s always an uncharted territory to discover and explore.
And to be totally honest, I don’t think to have a lot to teach, since my background in this area comes from occasional hours of sweetened sexual education during the middle school years, one or two school trips (!!) to the local sexual advisory center with the mission of indoctrinating youngsters about contraception methods and risks connected to sex, and, above all, a brilliant illustrated book which my mum generously gave to me (worse even than that intimidating parent-child conversation about sex life that you’re sure soon or later will make you embarrassed) with a misleading title (‘Mommy laid an egg‘) and wikiHow-type illustrations (this goes in here – with drawing and arrow). And the rest is curiosity, seeking, practice and testing, and I’ve just started.
By my side, behind the camera lens, in front of the laptop screen reviewing my articles, and on the front line to experience new ways to feel pleasure, there’s my travel companion: my husband.
The fact that I’m a woman is pretty clear, I guess.